Thin Blue Line Half Neoprene Face Mask

UPC:
690443884086
  • Thin Blue Line Mask
  • Thin Blue Line Half Neoprene Face Mask
$12.50

Out of stock

Description

Are you tired of going to bed alone night after night after night after night? Yes, you are. You are terribly tired of that crushing loneliness, the inevitable weeping, the thought "nobody cares" swirling through your mind until sleep finally comes. Thankfully, you can wear this 1/2 Glow in the Dark Splatter Neoprene Face Mask in bed to sleep with it each night, dispelling your loneliness at last.

This might sound unsatisfying, but you're probably underestimating the superb warmness this mask affords. It will fool the desperate, grasping, terrified portion of your brain that NEEDS SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. And that will let you move on to more important aspects of your life, like frittering away what little youth you have left.

Think of it as a slightly lower-tech version of "Weird Science." You create a perfect companion to keep you company during those cold nights, and the 1/2 Thin Blue Line Neoprene Face Mask glow provides sufficient verisimilitude to convince you that somebody actually loves you. But unlike "Weird Science", your meat-headed older brother (played by Bill Paxton) won't get turned into a gross, belching monster by your TV-turned-spouse.

Who knows, maybe somebody will be so impressed by your 1/2 Thin Blue Line Neoprene Face Mask that they'll actually want to date you.

Heh.

Ha.

Hahahahahaha.

OhhhhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh boy. Sorry. [Wipes tear from eye]. That was a good one.

  • Neoprene material is wind and water resistant
  • Works great under a helmet, goggles or alone
  • Hook and loop closure is adjustable
  • One size fits most
  • Reversible to solid black side
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Warranty Information

  • Water resistant
  • Model: WNFM171H
  • Reversible to solid black material
  • Velcro closure
  • Wearable with goggles
  • One size fits most
  • Climate Protection
  • Vent Holes at Ear and Mouth
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