Multi Brushed Camo Face Mask

Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.

Then Iron Horse Helmets researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter® (see image #3 above), a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create a neodanna so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be removed from them with the Jaws of Life!

But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-Meter says it, so be it!

Whether this wondrous Lips White Paisley Neodanna gets a new home depends on you. Purchase Vagisoft Lips w/ White Paisley Neodanna today, and you'll be one of the very first people on the planet to own one. And remember: the sooner you buy it, the sooner you wear it!