Guardian Neoprene Face Mask


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power-rangers-neoprene-face-mask.gifSorry, Chris. I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're out of the band. We're replacing you with "Sven" a guy who wears a Guardian Neoprene Face Mask. Oh no, Sven isn't a bassist like you. But, He wears a Guardian Neoprene Face Mask, so who cares. 

How did that happen? Well, it all started when me and the other guys in the band were hanging out without you - which happens a lot - and we were talking about how ugly you were, and Scott was like maybe we need a mask for Chris, as a joke, which was really funny.

Yeah, it's weird. Scott IS funny most of the time. He just sort of shuts down when you're around. It's something about the way you look at people. Really off-putting.

Anyway, so Scott said that thing about a mask and we all laughed and then we were like, you know, that's not a terrible idea. I mean, anything's better than your face, honestly. So Dale called up his friend Sven who's a performance artist. For his last show he read all of the Hamlet soliloquies backwards wearing a Guardian Neoprene Face Mask, so he already had the Guardian Neoprene Face Mask, which is perfect, right?

So yeah, we've been rehearsing with him behind your back for about a month now, and the Guardian Neoprene Face Mask looks a lot better then you, but that's not really saying much. No offense or anything, Chris.


Global Trade Item Number
Manufacturer Part Number
Warranty Information
<li>Water resistant</li>

<li>Model: WNFM086</li>
<li>Reversible to solid black material</li>
<li>Velcro closure</li>
<li>Wearable with goggles</li>
<li>One size fits most</li>
<li>Climate Protection</li>
<li>Vent Holes at Ear and Mouth</li>