Dear Diary: sometimes I wish people would see me as the German Motorcycle Helmet that I am, and not just as the novelty motorcycle helmet.

I get so sick of people at school asking me if I am DOT approved. And just today, my own grandma asked me why I can't be DOT like other motorcycle helmets. So what if I can't? Just because I don't have that bulky padding and foam, does that mean I don't have feelings?

Why can't they just accept me as I am, diary – quick release, flat finish and all? The DOT German and I both have a fiberglass shell. We both have steel rivets. We both have nylon straps Y-straps.

But no. Everybody always wants to compare, to tear me down for not being everything DOT says I should be. But just you wait, diary. Someday somebody'll need a motorcycle helmet that fits and looks great – and then this lowly Novelty German Motorcycle Helmet will show that DOT lady that she's not so great. Someday, diary. Someday

This is not a D.O.T. Certified Motorcycle Helmet.

• Lightweight, composite fiberglass shell
• German styling
• Quick Release closure
• One-year warranty
• Minimal Plush Moisture Absorbent Interior
• Steel Rivets
• Matt Black Finish

This is not a D.O.T. Certified helmet.