Helmet snobs can be cruel. Don’t let them turn that cruelty on you.

It’s an important charity ride. You’ve got the newest motorcycle, the perfect paint job. But when you put on your motorcycle helmet, all the riders start to laugh. It starts as a titter. Then a guffaw. Then the harsh, cruel, 80s-style condemnation laughter that generally only happens in a dream. And as you run out into the snow, tears streaming down your face, howling “Why? Whyyyy?” and knowing you’ll never again have a place in the biker scene, you’ll wish you had just spent a few more bucks on this Motorcycle Helmet.

Like this 300 Explorer DOT Motorcycle Helmet. When you pull it out of your “saddle bags”, with polished finish and steel rivets, you’ll be just ostentatious enough to send a message to the other riders that says “Hey, I’m one of you!” And then the die-cast fiberglass body with high gloss finish will sparkle in the light for the thirty seconds it takes for them to blink. That’s right, thirty seconds. That’s the power of ergonomic design, working for you. And won’t that soft padding feel comfortable against your head?

When the other riders hear that you bought this Harley Davidson styled motorcycle helmet for only $60, and has a year manufacturer’s warranty they’ll know they can trust you on even the finest motorcycle. And you won’t hear laughter then. You’ll hear applause. Sweet, sweet applause.

Don’t leave yourself no choice but to die in the snow covered with nothing but your own frozen tears and the shame of a cheap plastic motorcycle helmet you bought at the gas station. Get this VIP Edition Motorcycle Helmet. Get the Explorer.

• Lightweight, composite fiberglass shell
• Harley Davidson Explorer styling
• Quick Release closure
• One-year warranty
• Plush Moisture Absorbent Interior
• Sun visor
• High Gloss finish
• Duck Tail

Available in all sizes XS-XXL.