Yes, Jill, we do have a demon living with us. And you had nine months warning that it was coming.

Now, come on, it’s time to act like a grown up. No, I’m not saying we have to put down that camera, it’s perfectly normal to want videotapes of our child. I’m just saying you can’t keep calling it “the demon." Children just explore and express themselves. And it’s normal for little kids to not always sleep through the night. But we still have to keep little Oren safe.

Yes, I did hear the door slam mysteriously. But you know what? We’re talking about something else right now. We’re talking about the DOT Certified PINK Flower Kids MX Motocross Helmet. Yes, it’s pink, but let’s not get stuck on gender stereotypes. This DOT Kids Motorcycle Helmet is great for kids, and Light weight aerodynamic thermoplastic alley shell is super light. Oh, Jill, stop spreading talcum powder in the hallway, honestly! I don’t know who’s worse, you or the baby!

Anyway, the Padded D-ring retention system  makes the Pink Motorcycle Helmet super easy for Oren to put on , which will be great when we’re on a trail. And it’ll certainly keep the child much warmer than a strange, possibly unholy fire. Jill, what are you doing! You don’t use water on a burning Ouija board! You use baking soda or a blanket!

Honestly, you’re acting like a real jerk lately, Jill. Now, come on, focus. We’re going out to the riding park today. Just you, me, and little Oren and the dark Lord Tri-zam, ruler of the Seven Gates. What? Why are you acting so strange, Jill? Honestly. Just hand me the CHILD'S PINK MX and we can get on with our day.