Dear Better Business Bureau,
First, let me apologize that this letter has been written in crayon. My mother still believes that I am of an inappropriate age to have access to pencils. I hope this will not inconvenience you.
Secondly, I feel I should introduce myself. My name is Paul. I wish I could tell you my last name but things like that are very hard for a three year old to remember. I write today to offer a complaint against Santa Claus, and I hope my comments are taken seriously and entered into the public record. Quite frankly: Santa has failed to deliver me a promised DOT Certified Black Kids MX Motocross Helmet.
Imagine my shock when I, as a young daredevil, had been expecting to find a box with this Motocross Helmet that could easily protect my fragile head against that evil tree. Through my comparison shopping, I learned that the Iron Horse Helmets Kids Black MX Helmet is resistant to rain, snow and dirt, and also has rubberized trim and a stainless steel rivets to make it tough, exactly the kind of thing that might work well in my planned ride down Death Canyon Hill..
Imagine, sir or madam, the shock I felt when, instead of a Iron Horse Helmets Kids Black Motocross Helmet, I received an educational DVD on the nature of colors, an admittedly comfortable hat with an elephant in the center, and an orange. An orange! What an insult to my dreams! It was so tragically over stimulating that I broke down in tears and refused to take either juice or chocolate milk from the proffered sippy cup. How could Santa have listened so intently in his little booth at the hardware store, and then failed so spectacularly to deliver? I was truly and completely crushed!
Please note me as an unsatisfied customer of Santa Claus. In fact, if I dare to say, I believe myself a victim of an actual fraud. I hope action comes from my suffering to save others from what I have endured in this now-defunct holiday season.
Paul (age 3 1/4)
YOUTH BLACKG MOTOCROSS HELMET
|*Meets or exceeds DOT standards|
|*Light weight aerodynamic thermoplastic alley shell|
|*Removable and washable soft comfort-fit liner|
|*UV protective clear coat paint|
|*fixed goggle strap locator|
|*Padded D-ring retention system|
|*Chrome chin ventilation|