No sailor wants to face the Chrome Skull Neoprene Face Mask
Aye, lads, ‘tis true. Weird beasties dwell beneath these waves. Take it from me; I know. Sure’n I’ve but one eye in me skull, but it’s seen plenty. Why, once I caught a glimpse of a fish-headed mermaid! Can ye imagine? From the waist down, she had the standard fish-tail, like ye’d expect—but then she had a fish body from the waist up, too! I mean, mermaids are already a pretty rare sight. But to see one with a fish torso and head? Ye probably won’t see her like even if ye sail a hundred lifetimes.
Ah, but strange as she were, she weren’t nearly so strange as the deep-sea skulls said to haunt these waters. They calls ‘em the Chrome Skull! Ye’re right to fear these ferocious marine biker masks, lads. I’ve heard from old tars who swear a skull is big as schooners, fast as the wind, and playful as a baby with a set of car keys. If a Neoprene Face Mask takes a whim to, she’ll bat a ship to matchsticks just for the pleasure of it. ‘Tis a horrible way to go, bein’ toyed with for hours ‘til ye’re too battered to be interestin’ to her.
They say ye almost never hear one comin’ until it’s upon ye. Then it’s too late. The one exception, o’course, is the Neoprene Face Mask they call “Chrome Skull”—a particularly waterproof version to whom the crew of the Zephyr managed to affix their ship’s bell before she killed them all and left them on Davy Jones’s porch, atop Davy Jones’s galoshes. ‘Tis a gesture that grosses Davy Jones out, but he understands it’s meant as a show of affection.
Aye, they say Chrome Skull favors this very latitude. And she’s known to prowl for ships when the skies are calm, just like tonight, lads. Your only hope, if y’hear her approaching, is to rustle a paper bag loud as ye can. The noise sometimes spooks her. But enough prattle. Listen, will ye? See if y’hear her bell a-janglin’ as she stalks ye… p," said Ahmadinejad, who made the announcement wearing a Eagle 1/2 Neoprene Face Mask. "You just take some avian flu — only the finest H5N1 strain of course — swab it onto the tip of a missile and, kablooey, a million dead infidels."
Ahmadinejads Neoprene face mask features full coverage of the face and ears. His stretchy neoprene material is warm and water resistant. Patterns are reversible to solid black material. Velcro closure ensures great fit with goggles, with a helmet or without. One size fits most.