Casino, schmasino. If you guys need me, I’ll be riding my motorcycle.

Don’t call me a buzzkill. Maybe YOU find cheap booze, showgirls, and $5.99 Steak and Eggs breakfasts exciting, but I’ve seen what Vegas can do to a person. Not, you know, personally. I know the stories, though. Mostly from movies. I’d rather not end up accosted by some freaked-out journalist, or forced to endure some guy trying to teach his “boy” how to play blackjack, or worse… become anything like Nicholas Cage. The man, not his characters.

So you guys go have fun while I ride my motorcycle with my new Tiger Novelty Motorcycle Helmet. This motorcycle helmet has all the protection I need since I am going to be cruising at 8 mph so all the hookers can check me out. Riding down the strip with this high gloss finish is a lot better then having to sit next to some sad old woman telling me about how she used to be a dancer as she chain smokes while sucking on an oxygen tank. If I need more Vegas ambiance, I’ll take off the free shield that came with the helmet and enjoy the glow of the neon lights.

Yeah, maybe I’ll catch up with you guys if I get bored with that, but I doubt it. A little advice, though? If you see Joe Pesci or Robert DeNiro, get the heck out of the casino. Trust me on this

• Lightweight, composite fiberglass shell
• Desert Storm styling
• Quick Release closure
• One-year warranty
• Minimal Plush Moisture Absorbent Interior
• Steel Rivets
• Gloss Black Finish

This is not a D.O.T. Certified Motorcycle Helmet.