Billy Mays here! Are you tired of getting Neoprene Face Mask of boring old roses and dragons? Need something to spice up your face? Then try my new Red Flames Half Neoprene Face Mask, guaranteed to produce unique stares in a matter of seconds.

It’s SO simple, ANYONE can do it. Just pick a random word for each of these three categories: a PERSON, an ACTION, and a CLASSIC BOARD GAME.

Let’s try it! What kind of person would you like? It could be anything! Construction worker? Mail carrier? Sailor Jerry–style transsexual wearing a green negligee? PERFECT! Now we need an action. Peeing? Great. And how about a classic board game? Let’s try the game of Life. AMAZING!

So you see, with this Red Flame Biker Mask, we’ve come up with an attention-grabbing Facemask in less than thirty seconds. I guarantee you’ll love my system, or your money back.

Half Red Flame Neoprene facemasks features full coverage of the face and ears. Stretchy neoprene material is warm and water resistant. The Flame patterns are reversible to solid black material. Velcro closure ensures great fit with goggles, with a helmet or without. One size fits most.