Please, someone call the fire department! My NeoDanna has burst into flames! Oh, the humanity! I can’t believe my new NeoDanna is gone!

What?

Yes, I did say flames. Why? And why aren’t you helping me put it out?

What do you mean, it’s impossible? That doesn’t make any sense! This is a NeoDanna! The Neodanna is a revolutionary item with multiple features. The 100% cotton bandanna is combined with a flame neoprene facemask to ensure full coverage of the face and neck, providing a comfortable light-weight fit. The neoprene section covers the cheeks, nose & mouth, while the bandanna is easily adjusted with a Velcro closure. Ideal for wind and dust protection in both warm and cold weather settings.

Ooooh, right. I get it. It’s not on fire, the flames are just a design on the Neoprene Biker Mask part.

I can’t believe I would be so dumb!

And to think; my sparkler collection was by it, too!