Whoa! Hi, kids! Hey, be careful! All those big strong hugs might knock Uncle Jerry on his butt! Ha ha ha! I did say butt, didn’t I! Ha ha ha ha ha! I’m awesome!

Yeah, you kids love your Uncle Jerry. don’t you? That’s why I told your mom I’d babysit tonight! We’re gonna get a pizza, and we’re gonna play video games, and we’re gonna stay up late, because I’m your cool uncle, and I’m in touch with what kids like to… um… say, kids… what’s that thing over there? No, not the Nerf rocket launcher, next to that. No, the freaky talking cactus robot by your sofa, how can you not see that thing? What is it? Oh, that’s a Childs Blue Motocross Helmet? Well, I should have known, I suppose, maybe it was just the light. What’s he for again? Oh, sure, sure, your parents bought you a new dirt bike. Sure, I rode mine all the time when I don’t have hockey tickets or a date. But… why don’t you tell me about this kids motocross helmet just for fun?

Oh, it’s DOT? Hmm. Wow, that’s awesome. Look at those cool skull graphics in that blue paint. Hey, kids, did your mom ever tell you about a guy named H.R. Pufnstuf? Oh, she did? And she said if I ever bring it up you should tell me not to poison your innocent minds with my retro-television geekery? Hmm, that does sound like something my sister would say, doesn’t it?

Okay, tell me, what does this Blue Motorcycle Helmet Do? Motocross Helmet, sorry. It protects you in case you are about to get hurt? And it’s child safe? So, kinda like the A-Team in 1988 then, right? Hey, do you know who Mr. T was? Oh, she did? And again with the poison bit on that one too? Guess that’s what I get for ripping up her David Hasselhoff poster in high school.

Anyway, kids, thanks for the refresher. It’s great to know that your generation has a Bananas In Pajamas all its own. Did you ever watch that show? With the giant talking bananas? In pajamas? No? Ah, well. I guess we all lose our cultural relevancy touchstones at some point. Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s get on your motorbikes and chase the dog, huh? And then, we can get a pizza! Yaaaay, yaaaay, I’m still the best uncle ever, yaaaaaaaaay!