Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma.

My name is German BoneYard Pink and I am a motorcycle helmet with class and style. How dare she disrespect me and think I could go by any other name. She obviously does not know the vengeance that I carry with my pink jockey skull style.

Does Emma have a fiberglass shell? Does Emma have Steel Rivets? Does Emma have strong nylon strapping? I bet not. I bet Emma is one of those fat DOT Motorcycle Helmets without the extra thin .44 cm padding.

I assume his brothers girlfriend was named Emma, and she is confused as to which of her children was bringing someone over to meet them

• Lightweight, composite fiberglass shell
• Jockey/Polo styling
• Quick Release closure
• One-year warranty
• Minimal Plush Moisture Absorbent Interior
• Steel Rivets
• Gloss Pink BoneYard Finish

This is not a D.O.T. Certified Motorcycle Helmet.