Sit down, Alien. It’s time your mother and I told you something. Something we should have told you a long time ago.
I know this is going to come as quite a shock to you, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Alien, you’re adopted. Well, I suppose “purchased” would be a better word. I know it sounds horrible, but when we found out we couldn’t conceive a Half Alien Neoprene Face Mask, we were desperate. We cried about it every day and night until, at last, we found this website and…
Well, just know that the day you arrived on our doorstep was the happiest day of our lives, son. We brought you in, opened the bag, and there, sitting in all that packaging was the Neoprene face mask we’d always wanted. The way your Stretchy neoprene material is warm and water resistant just melted our hearts. We enjoyed how your alien pattern is reversible to solid black. It was like a dream come true. We knew at that very moment that we had done the right thing.
But there’s more to the story, son. You’re real name isn’t Alien. It’s 1/2 Alien Neoprene Face Mask. And you have an older brother.
We just couldn’t afford the both of you! We despaired so much about separating you from your family! In the end, we had to make a choice. While your brother, full Alien Neoprene Face Mask, is larger and covers the eyes, you, 1/2 Alien Neoprene Face Mask, our pride and joy, are smaller and more petite. So, we picked you, hoping that that other Neoprene Face Mask would find a good home and that the two of you might be reunited one day.
That day has finally come. We’re all flying out tomorrow to be on the Maury Povich show so that you can finally meet your brother on national television. I’m sure this will turn out for the best.
Neoprene face mask features full coverage of the face and ears. Stretchy neoprene material is warm and water resistant. Patterns are reversible to solid black material. Velcro closure ensures great fit with goggles, with a helmet or without. One size fits most. |
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