ALIEN MOTORCYCLE HELMET
Mr. President there is, a, ah, um, rather urgent matter requiring your immediate attention sir. It’s just that we seem to be under attack. No, not terrorists, we don’t think. Definitely not the Chinese. You’re right, sorry, I just would’ve been really impressed had you guessed it. Sir we seem to be under attack from Aliens. No sir that wouldn’t work, you see, as they have huge teth. Well, again, I see where you’re going with that, in addition, the have no skin. Well we don’t really know who made them because they seem to have come from space. You’re right, I should’ve just spit all that out at once. Well, sir, we know they weigh 924g and are made of fiberglass. We have not ruled out that our attackers may have some sort of cyborg factory orbiting the planet that is reanimating corpses into half-man, half-machine warriors of doom. Who are also vampire zombies. Well the good news is we do have a protocol for just such an event, actually. It was written during the previous administration. No sir, they just really enjoyed doomsday scenario planning. Anyway, this is a cyanide capsule. Well, according to protocol, you are supposed to chew it. Well I assume then you would die, sir. Well, and again I’m reading from protocol here sir, “What in the holy hell are we possibly going to do against Zombie Vampire Robots from Space?”
Shorty shields are also available for all Helmets. See the Shorty Shield listing for price information. Available in all sizes XS-XXL.
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Neoprene Face Masks $10.00
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